Somewhere along the road we learn about codependence. We hear about it from a friend or therapist. We see it in the news. Many of us wonder if codependence describes who we are.
Most everyone exhibits codependent behaviors to some degree, but it is the degree to which they are exhibited that ultimately determine codependence. The true question is, how much do these behaviors create struggle in our life?
Do we live in extremes instead of balance? Do our codependent behaviors cause our relationships to stagnate, deteriorate or destruct? How do we, our mates, children and friends suffer because of our behaviors? If the answers to these soul-searching questions cause us to admit, “I need help,” then we’re beginning to locate recovery’s path.
Codependence affects our personal lives, our families, children, friends, and relatives; our businesses and careers; our health, and our overall spiritual well-being. It is debilitating, and if left untreated, causes us to become more destructive to ourselves and others. Many of us come to a point when we must look beyond ourselves, for help. Co-dependence is a disease that deteriorates the very soul, and as such Codependents Anonymous is a program of spiritual recovery.
There is a huge difference between religion and spirituality. Spirituality speaks to our soul and what it needs. Once we realize that what we’ve been doing just doesn’t work, we can look beyond ourselves for guidance to a loving Higher Power. For some this can be God, meditation or prayer, intuition or that still small voice, or anything else outside our self. We each choose a Higher Power of our own choosing.
When we decide to attend CoDA meetings, many of us find that source of help. Each of us arrives here from different directions. Some of us are urged by family members or friends. Some of us come to CoDA when our physicians, psychiatrists, or therapists see the need. Still others reach CoDA’s doorstep after treatment for co-dependence or other addictions.
The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships. Living the program allows each of us to become increasingly honest with ourselves about our personal histories and our own codependent behaviors.
Whether it’s crisis or curiosity that brings us to CoDA, many of us learn about the characteristics of co-dependence at our first meeting. These characteristics help us to determine what unhealthy patterns weave in and out of our lives.
To answer the question if you may be codependent, you can begin by downloading the codependent patterns below. We would be very glad to welcome you to a meeting.
Download -> Codependent Patterns and Recovery