When we repeat our RECOVERY patterns, guess what happens? RECOVERY!
Yet when we repeat our codependent patterns, we can’t help but continue the cycle of codependency.
Repeated use of affirmations can help us to overcome the compulsiveness of our codependence and to learn a new freedom.
These affirmations are rooted in recovery patterns. It can help serve us in those times when we may need it the most.
AVOIDANCE
- I act in ways that ENCOURAGE loving and healthy responses from others.
- I keep an open mind and accept others AS THEY ARE.
- I engage in emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy when it is HEALTHY and APPROPRIATE for me.
- I PRACTICE my recovery to develop healthy and Fulfilling relationships.
- I use direct and straightforward communication to resolve conflicts and deal appropriately with confrontations.
- When I use the tools of recovery, I am able to develop and maintain healthy relationships of my choosing.
- I embrace my own vulnerability by trusting and honoring my feelings and needs.
- I welcome close relationships while maintaining healthy boundaries.
- I believe in and trust a power greater than myself. I surrender my self-will to my Higher Power.
- I honor my authentic emotions and share them when appropriate.
- I freely engage in expressions of appreciation toward others.
COMPLIANCE
- I am committed to my safety and leave situations that feel unsafe or are inconsistent with my goals.
- I am rooted in my own values, even if others don’t agree or become angry.
- I consider my interests and feelings when asked to participate in another’s plans.
- I can separate my feelings from the feelings of others. I allow myself to experience my feelings and others to be responsible for their feelings.
- I respect my own opinions and feelings and express them appropriately.
- My sexuality is grounded in genuine intimacy and connection. When I need to feel loved, I express my heart’s desires. I do not settle for sex without love.
- I ask my Higher Power for guidance, and I consider possible consequences before I make decisions.
- I stand in my truth and maintain my integrity, whether others approve or not, even if it means making difficult changes in my life.
DENIAL
- I can be aware of my feelings and identify them, often in the moment. I know the difference between my thoughts and feelings.
- I embrace my feelings; they are valid and important.
- I know the difference between caring and caretaking. I recognize that caretaking others is often motivated by a need to benefit myself.
- I am able to feel compassion for another’s feelings and needs.
- I acknowledge that I may own the negative traits I often perceive in others.
- I acknowledge that I sometimes need the help of others.
- I am aware of my painful feelings and express them appropriately.
- I am able to express my feelings openly, directly, and calmly.
- I pursue intimate relationships only with others who want, and are able to engage in, healthy and loving relationships.
SELF-ESTEEM
- I can trust my ability to make effective decisions.
- I can accept myself as I am. I choose to emphasize progress over perfection.
- I feel appropriately worthy of the recognition, praise, or gifts I receive.
- I’m able to value the opinions of those I trust, without needing to gain their approval. I choose to have confidence in myself.
- I choose to recognize myself as being a lovable and valuable person.
- I choose to seek my own approval first. I make a point to examine my motivations carefully when I seek approval from others.
- I continue to take my personal inventory, and when I am wrong, promptly admit it.
- I choose to be honest with myself about my behaviors and motivations. I can feel secure enough to admit mistakes to myself and others, and to hear their opinions WITHOUT feeling threatened.
- I choose to meet my own needs and wants when possible.
- I choose to reach out for help when it’s necessary and appropriate.
- I choose to perceive myself as equal to others.
- With the help of my Higher Power, I can create safety in my life.
- I make the choice to avoid procrastination by meeting my responsibilities in a timely manner.
- I am able to establish and uphold healthy priorities and boundaries in my life.
CONTROL
- I realize that, with rare exceptions, other adults are capable of managing their own lives.
- I accept the thoughts, choices, and feelings of others, even though I may not be comfortable with them.
- I give advice only when asked.
- I am content to see others take care of themselves.
- I carefully and honestly contemplate my motivations when preparing to give a gift.
- I embrace and celebrate my sexuality as evidence of my health and wholeness. I do not use it to gain the approval of others.
- I develop relationships with others based on equality, intimacy, and balance.
- I find and use resources that meet my needs without making demands on others. I ask for help when I need it, WITHOUT expectation.
- I behave AUTHENTICALLY with others, allowing my caring and compassionate qualities to emerge.
- I ask directly for what I want and need and trust the outcome to my Higher Power. I do not try to manipulate outcomes with blame or shame.
- I cooperate, compromise, and negotiate with others in a way that honors my integrity.
- I treat others with respect and consideration, and trust my Higher Power to meet my needs and desires.
- I use my recovery for my own growth and not to manipulate or control others.
- My communication with others is authentic and truthful.